Accident Causes Clarity
The first question that arises after meeting with an accident is, “How did it happen?” “Was it my fault?” “Could I have been more cautious?” These thoughts and conversations generally happen in hospitals while waiting in an emergency ward for first aid. The “why” question arises later, when the injuries are severe enough that surgery is required and all you have is time to yourself. To answer these questions, we need to go back to October 2019, the busiest evening near Devi Theater, where I was on my scooter with my friend waiting for the signal to be green. Suddenly, I get hit on my left elbow by an auto that was trying to pass us through a tiny gap that could only fit a bicycle in it.We fell on the ground, and I injured my left arm.
I rushed to the government hospital to be treated, thinking this was just a minor injury. Little did I know that I had fractured my elbow bone, and now it required surgery to install plates in it. This took a heavy toll on me since I was a very restless person who couldn’t stay at home for very long. Now all I could do was rest on my bed and think about why this happened to me. Days after my surgery, been slowly trying to work with my left hand and adjusting my lifestyle accordingly.
Slowly, days turned into months, and I noticed certain changes, like how I liked being in my own company more, concentrated more on my health, and tried to have as many meaningful conversations as possible. All these qualities and habits that I would never think of implementing were suddenly a part of my day-to-day lifestyle, which boosted my self-confidence to the point where I could raise my points and genuine concerns in any situation without fearing repercussions. At this point in my life, I had started to do my daily routine work with a broken elbow started to work on my scripts, reducing my body weight by altering my food habits, and taking long walks. Reducing my weight has its own story, but to summarise in a nutshell, it was due to a girl who had a strong crush on me. She would often say that if it wasn't for your weight, you would be more attractive. Even though this period lasted for a very short time, those words will stay with me forever. By this time, it had been two months, and the accident incident had become a mere joke within my friend group.
I enjoyed all the jokes since they were too funny and relatable. All these continued for the time being until January 2020, when I got to face the reality and duality of the human race. One of my best friends had backstabbed me by revealing our private conversations to his female co-actor. To explain this, let us go back to August 2019. I had shot a music video for my friend, casting my best friend as the lead actor. I got objection from the female lead who doubted his acting capability, which irked me since I knew he was a very natural actor who had some experience acting in front of the camera. While I convinced the female lead to cast my friend as the male lead, I had to face other issues from the production side. We shot the music video for 4 days, during which we faced a lot of internal issues like ego clashes between the actor and the unit, food distribution issues, etc. After the video shoot, I learned about the closeness between my best friend and the female lead. At first, I didn’t mind it, but slowly, I could see the difference in the female lead’s behaviour towards me. She didn’t listen to my advice or care about the post-production patch work. Later, I got to know through a friend of mine that my best friend had badmouthed about me to her while I was in the hospital. This was the same person who had previously rejected him, and now they both are dating, whereas my private conversation with him was just a tool to get closer to her. If this was the old me, I would have instantly created havoc, but now with this new-born clarity, I started to analyse what went wrong, collected all the information on the situation, and went to confront both parties. At this point, I realised the "why" part of the accident.
If it wasn’t for this incident, I would have been easily carried away by my anger or would have been manipulated by both of them. After this confrontation, I decided to dissociate myself from them as this would only waste my time and energy, which I now understand the value of time and energy in life. Jumping ahead to the first lockdown in March 2020, while everyone else was struggling to cope with lockdown without physical communication from the outside world, I was practically prepared (pun intended). On a more serious note, I could now stay at home for an extended period of time without feeling compelled to visit my friends or waste my time and energy. I could spend a lot of time around myself trying to figure out my life, and in the process, I generated a very natural positivity thought process, which I couldn't have figured out if it hadn't been for the bed-ridden days, which provided calmness in me, resulting in gaining clarity about life. After documenting all these incidents, I realised how far I had come in a very short period of time.
This feels like a thank-you note to my accident day; whenever I visit the Devi Theater signal road, I experience a range of emotions from anger to thankful. The anger would always be there because it not only injured my elbow but also took away three months of my life during which I could have directed a short film and avoided the expenses associated with my treatment; however, the smile comes naturally after I realise what I have learned and imbibed in my life, which I could not have done with my previous sluggish attitude
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